Ode to <insert something annoying here>

Dear Computer People of the World,

I am in pain. It is a deep and dull pain. The sort of pain that nags and eats away at one's livelihood, slowly dragging one down, down into a black pit of despair.  I want the pain to go away. Maybe punching a window or jumping into the river would ease this mental anguish I am feeling. It probably would for a bit, but then I would have to deal with a broken window or some sort of river-borne disease. Why do you torment me with your "I'm like XML, but not"-ness? Why must I bust my poor little brain with all your metadata? I have never felt such hate for little pieces of code. A wise man once said, 'hate will bring you closer to love'. Maybe it will, one day, but I still am in the process of hate you fucking piece of shit goddamn mother fucker I hate you so much. I read your documentation, I don't fucking get it. I change a config file. It does something. No idea what it does. I see something happening. No idea what it's doing.

I have no one. NO ONE. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME? Thanks. I don't know where to start. I am blind. Where is my data going? Where does it come from? What are all these... things? How can one code like this?

I going to kill myself if things continue this way much longer. Actually, fuck that, I'm just going to take all my money and live on the beach for a while. Bubye, bits, you can go fuck off and torture someone else.

I have become...

SimpleSAML, you're not so simple.

 

 

Disclaimer: I'm not actually going to kill myself or anything stupid like that. The above was merely an expression of frustration and experiencing the wonder of learning something out of my comfort zone. I hope it was entertaining for anyone who read it :)